As Room Service opens, it's late - 11ish or so - and glamour model Julie Simone scuffs into the room, sleepy-eyed and disheveled. She's wearing either sleepwear or clubwear. It might be both. "Do you have my wine?" she says abruptly, as a sort of greeting, I suppose. A man, who we happen to know fondly as the "Mystery Spanker", smoothly handles the situation. "Sure do," he says, and he pours a brimful of maison rouge into a plastic motel cup.

A nerve-wracking couple of minutes follow, sort of like a horror flick. You and I know exactly what's going to happen, but Julie Simone does not. She downs several cups of the red wine, chats on her cell phone, flicks cigarette ashes on the carpet, and generally behaves badly. She's here to model, the Mystery Spanker reminds her a couple of times, to pretty much no effect. She snaps her fingers for quicker service instead. This ain't gonna be pretty, I think gleefully.

It ain't. Or it is, depending on if you're looking at it from Julie's point of view or ours. She's hauled over the Mystery Spanker's lap, face down, thonged-butt up. The wrinkled navy slip slides into the small of her back, the black sweater gets bunched up around her neck, and her shoes fly around her ankles. (I warned you that the outfit was unusual.) The spanking proceeds, and Julie's ass gets reddish purple pretty quick.

Okay, now the shoes. They're ankle-strappy things that are weirdly erotic while they're flying around during her spanking. For those of you that are into shoes, this is a scene that you'll be thinking about for years to come. There's something very lewd and indecent about having your shoes twist around your bare ankles while someone is spanking your bare butt.

In addition to her shoes twisting obscenely, Julie does too, crawling all over his lap. "Wherever you take that ass," he claims, "I'm going to find it and I'm going to swat it." Her ass is purple and splotchy by the end.